I truly believe we need more empathy in the world.
While sympathy is alright (and sometimes needed too!), empathy enhances our ability to connect to others and understand one another – something we know is essential for our overall happiness and life satisfaction.
But what is the difference between sympathy vs empathy?
And when is each appropriate?
In this article, we’re going to lay it all out, helping you connect better than ever before and feel good about it.
What’s the Difference Between Sympathy vs Empathy?
Let’s start with some simple definitions, courtesy of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
In the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the difference is defined as,
“Sympathy is used when one person shares the feelings of another; an example is when one experiences sadness when someone close is experiencing grief or loss. Empathy is also related to pathos. It differs from sympathy in carrying an implication of greater emotional distance. With empathy, you can imagine or understand how someone might feel, without necessarily having those feelings yourself.”
Sympathy is the pain we feel when we see a loved one cry in pain or grief.
Empathy is the connection we feel when we can understand why someone might feel a certain way, but we don’t necessarily have the same feelings.
Empathy can create bridges. Meanwhile, sympathy allows for the sharing of emotions.
Yet, many of us tend to use these two words interchangeably. However, the truth is that they are very clearly different.
Some even go as far as to describe sympathy as a form of relief that we aren’t in the other person’s situation.
So, which is better? Well, this may depend on the situation.
Related Article: 6 Tips to Sympathize, Not Internalize Other People’s Feelings
What is Better Sympathy or Empathy?
Empathy offers a safe space for someone to feel their emotions and own them.
When we feel empathetic, we provide a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen without an overflow of judgment or solutions. This is why leading the way with empathy can prove to be best.
Meanwhile, sympathy often means jumping into a problem-solving state, which may minimize the person’s feelings and problems. This can create a gap between us and them, rather than bringing us closer.
In most cases, with friends and family, empathy is best since we want to create closeness and understanding. When it comes to wide-scale events, sympathy might be a more likely go-to as it’s much more difficult to imagine and understand but easier to feel the other person’s pain and offer pity.
Ideally, we could probably all use a little more empathy in our lives.
So, how can we do this?
Related Article: Toxic Empathy: What is It and Can You Really Be Too Empathetic?
7 Ways to Foster More Empathy
Luckily, if you struggle with empathy (or wonder how to respond when someone close to you is upset), you can build this muscle. Here’s how!
1. Get Curious!
Ask questions.
Question your own beliefs or judgments that you may jump to.
Are there other things you aren’t understanding? A few ways to grow this muscle further is by getting to know people you normally wouldn’t or even exploring a new culture or country.
2. Push Your Comfort Zone.
Learning or experiencing new things can help us foster understanding for others.
We can understand what it’s like to be a beginner or how helpless we may be sometimes, while allowing it to humble us and calm any arrogance.
3. Ask for Feedback.
This can be from friends, colleagues, or family.
And it must involve actively listening. No interrupting, just facing what they have to say. Ask where you can improve in terms of your relationship skills or where you might be lacking. This can be very confrontational, but also very helpful.
4. Acknowledge Your Biases.
We all have ‘em!
And these biases lead to quick judgments of others, dwindling our empathetic response. Identifying your own personal biases and how they may lead you to judge or form quick opinions can help you step over them and recognize similarities in certain situations as opposed to differences.
5. Learn How To Communicate Well.
Unfortunately, this isn’t something often taught in schools.
And if you had a turbulent childhood, this could be even more difficult (or not noticeable to you!). Practice the following for respectful communication:
- Actively listen: This means listening to understand, not react.
- Be open: New ideas? Consider them!
- Avoid interrupting: This, inevitably, isn’t active listening and also communicates to the other person that you don’t care what they have to say.
- Apologize when you’re wrong: Admitting our faults can actually be our biggest strength!
- Ask thoughtful questions when you don’t understand: Sometimes, we just need to probe further to foster understanding. This also shows the other person you care.
6. Read & Expose Yourself to a Variety of Information.
You know what they say… There’s never one side to a story. Usually, both sides have their reasons, which, when we understand them, actually may make sense.
Consider this: Next time you’re researching a particular topic or angle, try researching the complete opposite of this. This will offer up the whole picture. The same can be done when examining two different people’s versions of one event.
7. Volunteer!
Do this in a different community amongst different cultures.
Get to know others from different backgrounds from yourself. This can provide so much insight, expanding your perspective and building your empathy muscle beyond what you ever thought possible.
Sympathy vs Empathy: Use Empathy to Connect
It’s one of the most powerful ways to do so and nurture close connections.
Try flexing your empathy muscle next time a conversation takes an unexpected turn. Using empathy is truly one of the most powerful emotions and tools we can convey, creating a greater sense of community, safety, and belonging for all.
Read Next: Top 5 Ways to Effectively Deal With People Who Lack Empathy
Editor’s note: This article was originally published May 31, 2023 and has been updated to improve reader experience.
Photo by Anna Shvets