How many of us become clueless when asked about ourselves?
It is easy to know and understand people around us, but looking in the mirror and properly seeing ourselves might not be easy. We tend to be blinded by what we think we are and that gets in the way of us properly understanding who we are and working towards who we want to be.
Having a sense of self does not come naturally to us, it’s something we have to actively work towards achieving.
So let’s take a look! What is a sense of self?
What is a Sense of Self?
The sense of self, also known as self-awareness or self-concept, is the awareness and understanding that an individual has about themselves.
It encompasses various aspects, such as:
- beliefs
- values
- emotions
- memories
- behaviors
- and perceptions that contribute to one’s identity
Sense of self involves recognizing oneself as a distinct entity separate from others.
It requires us to understand our capabilities and limitations, as well as having a subjective understanding of our own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It plays a crucial role in shaping behavior, decision-making, and interpersonal relationships.
Self-concept can be influenced by various factors, including social interactions, cultural norms, personal experiences, and psychological development.
It is dynamic and can evolve over time as individuals learn and grow through different life experiences. Therefore, it is important for us to always be working on understanding ourselves and having the latest version of our sense of self.
10 Ways to Develop a Sense of Self
Developing a solid sense of self is an ongoing process that involves self-reflection, self-awareness, and personal growth.
Here are some strategies to help you enhance your sense of self:
1. Self-reflection.
Take time to reflect on your values, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, and life experiences.
Journaling, meditation, or therapy can be helpful tools for self-reflection. As we get older, we learn and unlearn, so we are constantly changing. Therefore, self-reflection is something we never ‘finish’. It helps us understand who we are today.
Journaling Every Day – End of the Month Motivational Message for May→
2. Identify your strengths.
It is easy to take note of our failures.
In some unfortunate cases, we are surrounded by people who remind us of our weaknesses. Move from that and recognize and celebrate your unique talents, skills, and qualities. Acknowledge your accomplishments and areas where you excel.
I like to treat my wins as proof that I can do better and improve myself.
3. Set personal boundaries.
Establish healthy boundaries in your relationships and prioritize your needs and well-being.
Many of us are people pleasers and will do almost anything for the people around us and so little for ourselves. Learning to say no when necessary and advocating for yourself can strengthen your sense of self.
How to Speak Up & Say What You Want: You Don’t Have to Be Silent!→
4. Explore your interests.
Engage in activities and hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Exploring new interests and passions can help you better understand yourself and what brings meaning to your life. Sometimes we get ideas but we are scared to execute them because we have no one to do these new things with.
Well, here is some breaking news, you have yourself! Once you do one or two things solo, you will soon learn that doing things on your own is not as intimidating as you think.
5. Challenge negative self-talk.
Pay attention to your internal dialogue and work on replacing negative thoughts with more positive and affirming ones.
We all have that voice that plants a seed of doubt in us, but we have to master the art of ignoring it and not giving it power over us. Practice self-compassion and treat yourself with kindness and understanding. You deserve it.
6. Seek feedback.
Solicit feedback from trusted friends, family members, or mentors about how they perceive you.
Ask them to tell you a few things they like about you. You will be surprised the people around you appreciate certain aspects of yourself you probably don’t realize. Constructive feedback can provide valuable insights into your strengths and areas for growth.
Their feedback can also work as a good starting point regarding areas you might want to improve. But, before seeking this feedback, it is crucial to ensure that you have created a safe environment where the feedback will not be taken as an attack.
7. Set personal goals.
Define clear goals and aspirations for yourself, both short-term and long-term.
Make sure these goals are clear and achievable. Rather than setting a goal to ‘read more books,’ consider something like ‘read a book each month’ or something more specific.
Working towards these goals can give you a sense of purpose and direction in life. Plus, you can relish the feeling you get after accomplishing those seemingly small goals!
8. Practice self-care.
Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
Seemingly small gestures like taking a nice warm bath, going for a pedicure or simply relaxing on your couch watching your favorite show with a mug of hot chocolate can make a huge difference.
Taking care of yourself is essential for building a strong sense of self as it allows you to spend time with yourself and make yourself happy.
9. Embrace authenticity.
Be true to yourself and honor your authentic feelings, desires, and values.
In this fast-paced digital era, there seems to be a ‘right and wrong’ way of being. What we fail to realize most of the time is the fact that these standards are created by people like you and I, so they are in no way binding.
Embracing authenticity can help you build confidence and integrity in your sense of self. There is only one you, don’t be afraid to be yourself.
10. Stay open to growth.
Remain open-minded and willing to learn from new experiences, challenges, and perspectives.
Embrace opportunities for personal growth and continue to evolve and develop your sense of self throughout life.
Self-Awareness is Continuous
Developing a sense of self is a gradual process that takes time, patience, and self-compassion.
We can’t achieve it overnight. Be gentle with yourself and embrace the long, yet fun journey of self-discovery. Take every day as it comes, and allow yourself to enjoy your self-awareness journey. Remember, achieving a sense of self is an excellent step towards healing!
Editor’s note: This article was originally published Mar 19, 2024 and has been updated to improve reader experience.
Photo by Min An