If you’re searching for effective strategies on how to become fearless and confident in yourself then this article is for you. However, before we provide those strategies, it’s important to know that we all have choices to make in this life, and some of those choices are constant. We all must choose on a daily basis, between shirking opportunities for growth and expansion, or leaning in to face our challenges fearlessly with full acceptance of the outcome.
Choosing the former leads to stagnation, less freedom, less happiness and ultimately unfulfilled potential. While on the other hand, the latter leads to more joy, freedom, abundance, and potential fulfilled.
Without a doubt, there are fears and doubts that keep the majority of people living out their lives in quiet desperation, only to go to their graves with their gifts, dreams, talents, and aspirations still left inside of them. In fact, the late Wayne Dyer once stated, “The number one regret of the dying is ‘I wish I had the courage to live the life I wanted rather than doing what others wanted of me.’”
Thus, it is for this line of reasoning that we decided to publish this resource, to provide you with actionable strategies that you can use to build confidence in yourself. The type of confidence that would allow for you to to live life fearlessly starting today.
With that being said, after researching numerous books, and experimenting with a variety of different tools, (meditation, affirmations, guided visualizations, hypnosis etc…) we discovered a handful of best-practices that you can immediately employ to start building confidence in yourself quickly.
We’re confident, that if you attempt to conquer your fears using the insights provided on this page with complete commitment, you will begin to experience noticeable progress in your self-belief, confidence, and your ability take more action.
In other words, you will become more confident, fearless, and thus more inclined to transform yourself into the type of action-taker your dreams require you to be.
So, if you’re ready to learn about the 10 best strategies for becoming fearless and confident in yourself starting today, let’s dive right in:
1. BELIEVE (HAVE FAITH) IN YOURSELF
This first confidence-building strategy simply consists of having faith in yourself. We understand that this may seem difficult to do. But once we show you the why behind how this works, you may just become inclined to make your leap of faith.
This “why” that we’re referring to consists of a simple process. It’s only one process, but we aim to illustrate it in two different ways. Thus, the two diagrams below are meant to inform you, as well as act as an incentive to encourage you to continue using the other strategies we will be providing to you.
With that said, both of these diagrams are important to comprehend, but the diagram that is best to keep in mind as you utilize the other strategies we’ll be recommending, is this first one, Diagram 1 .
We suggest that it is kept at the forefront of your mind, and used as a foundation as you strengthen your confidence muscles. We recommend this because of the substantial life enhancing effects that can result from you believing that you can become not just uber-confident, but fearless.
So, without further ado, here is the first diagram, your foundation, and your strong reason as to why you should become fearless.
DIAGRAM 1: This diagram (see on next page) is a model for life enhancement. When we comprehend how this model impacts our life, we can equip ourselves with the conviction that is needed to jumpstart our intentions for facing our fears.
The model demonstrates how you can actually decide to crush your fears, and take steps to continually suppress those fears, while at the same time setting yourself up for future success.
When you observe the model on the next page you will notice that it is cyclical. You should also take note, that the model spirals in a direction that is toward a stronger, increasingly improved you, which naturally translates into a brighter future for you.
You’ll notice when looking at this model (especially in comparison to the second diagram provided just after this one) the word ‘Increased’ .
This entire model is impacted by the decision to increase our belief that we can become fearless, and an increase in our belief of ourselves. As a result, a bigger brighter, more fulfilled future can ensue.
The premise of the model is this: If you force yourself to have certainty about your abilities, an absolute belief that you can handle whatever it is you are undertaking, you will place in motion a positive life enhancing process.
When you decide to increase your belief that you can do something, you will influence your potential for actually being able to do that thing well.
Having the sense that you have increased potential to accomplish something, you will in effect be more likely to take (increased) action to fulfill that potential. As you begin taking more action, and doing so with full faith in your potential and ability to execute flawlessly, you will begin to get better results.
Having these improved results will reinforce your belief in yourself, and in your abilities. In turn, the whole process will restart anew, and every recurring time, it will be from an even stronger, more confident position.
In summary: with a decision to believe in one’s self, one’s potential to execute will increase. Consequently, one will be inclined to take even more action, whereby, one will inevitably see more improved results. As time goes on, this process will compound all results. Therefore, it is vital to begin from a position of belief, to get onto the path towards living fearlessly.
DIAGRAM 2: Diagram 2 is very similar to Diagram 1, just illustrated above. This diagram was included primarily to provide additional context in relation to the power of belief. Its purpose is to demonstrate what the opposite effects are, if we get started on the wrong foot.
This diagram, unlike Diagram 1, is on a negative spiraling path towards a diminishing life. It is different in that it consists of a cycle of decrease. In essence, when we allow for things, people, or our own negative opinion of ourselves to negatively impact our belief in ourselves and our abilities, we will inevitably experience a level of diminishment in our potential.
Through this feeling of diminished capabilities, we will in effect act less on the fulfillment of our goals. Like most people, when something seems futile, we are less inclined to persevere. As a perfect example of cause and effect, our lack of action (or our half-hearted action) leads to substandard results.
And the cycle goes on. Those less than stellar results reinforce our lack of belief in ourselves (again), which as a result decreases our outlook on our potential even more so. In turn, this ultimately reduces even further, our desire to act, yet again bringing even worse results, etc.
This phase can go on indefinitely to eventual physical, spiritual, and professional defeat. Something we do not want for you, or anyone.
The most critical aspect to take away from this strategy to build confidence in yourself (considering both diagrams), is that it is critical that we start all of our undertakings from a place of belief.
If you begin having any doubts as you implement any of our other strategies, or begin to feel your inner cynic start to come out, just come back to this first strategy and simply reacquaint yourself until you are ready to move forward with faith.
It is vitally important that you believe you can actually learn how to become more confident. It is important to believe that you can do amazing things, because without belief, you can not, nor ever will, become a fearless version of your former self.
So, first things first, have faith in yourself!
“IF YOU MUST DOUBT SOMETHING, DOUBT YOUR LIMITS.”
– PRICE PRITCHETT –
2. INTERNALIZE THESE 6 TRUTHS
This next confidence boosting strategy consists of six very important truths that when deeply understood, can assist you in the easing of your apprehensions. [1]
We suggest you attempt to internalize these truths. By doing so, you will be conditioning your mind to release the stress that you may have built up around your fears and apprehensions in the past. Here they are:
Fear and angst never goes away fully, not as long as we are growing, stretching, and striving for more. Fear, angst, and uneasiness then, is but a natural consequence of striving.
To start feeling confident and good about ourselves, we have to take some type of definitive steps/actions to improve the situation or ourselves.
The only way to get rid of the fear or angst of doing something is to go out and do that thing which which is causing us unease.
Fear and doubt art things that is experienced by everyone. To be human, is to fearful and doubtful. Fear and doubt are natural byproducts of growth; it’s a byproduct of placing ourselves in unfamiliar territory, outside of our comfort zones. We are all human, and thus we all experience fear and doubt.
Living with the regret and the feeling of helplessness the stems from not tackling your fears or seeking to suppress your doubts, is more frightening than having decided to face your fears head on.
The more attention we give to our fears without doing something to combat them, the stronger they will grow, and the more paralyzed you’ll feel when you decide to conquer them.
Speaking these six truths out loud whenever fear begins to creep up in our mind, can do wonders for quelling any anxiousness we may be feeling.
It’s like preparing for a big game or battle against a worthy opponent. The more you know about your opponent, the less frightening it is. The less frightening the opponent appears, the more willing we are to face it.
3. PRACTICE THESE SIX ACTIONS TO BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF
There are six practical actions will be helpful for you to keep in your ‘back pocket’ so-to-speak, so they can be easily accessed when the time comes for proactively building confidence in yourself.
This step, also includes a diagram that conveys how taking action works toward curing our fears.
Action 1: It is critical to know, that action builds confidence and cures fear. As such, find a way to isolate your fears. Once you do this, you can then begin to take constructive action to face those fears. Taking action on the thing you fear most is highly effective. If you don’t take action, your fears will grow.
Action 2: Project (or force) your confidence. Here are some ways to do this:
a. Force yourself to sit in the front row of your training classes, sit nearest the boss in meetings, put yourself out there, etc.
b. Speak up. Participate. Engage.
c. Make sure you make and keep eye contact with everyone with whom you speak. Force yourself to not instantly look away. Establish your presence.
d. When you walk, walk with purpose. Consider walking 25% faster. [2]
e. Smile big and act as if you were confident. Fake it till you make it.
f. Stand tall, and act like a person with pride. People respond more positively to such a presence, which will up your confidence.
Action 3: Take time to actively envision yourself successfully executing that thing which you fear. Many times, our fears are tied up in our perception that we can’t or won’t be able to do something well. A simple action that we can take to calm our nerves about a fear of our inability to do something is to imagine, over and over again, our doing that thing well, or perfectly. Doing so will not only ensure you do that thing better, but you will have less angst leading up to the doing of that thing.
Action 4: Take massive action to only allow positive thoughts in your mind. Watching or reading the news, allowing ourselves to think negatively, being around gossipers, or participating in gossiping, will detract from your confidence, and thus incubate your fears.
Action 5: Practice following what your conscience tells you is right. In other words, listen to your gut. By doing so, you will prevent a toxic guilt complex. Trust your gut. If something feels wrong, it probably is, so don’t do it.
Action 6: Release your fear of other people, and of their judgements. Remember that other people are just as human as you. Also keep in mind, that people more often than not, really mean well. And deep down inside, they are actually nice, and don’t have the negative judgements of us that we typically conjure up in our minds.
Be sure to review the ‘Take Action Diagram’ on the following pages, as it will help illuminate why taking action on your fears is helpful.
Once you have reviewed the diagram, consider coming back to the actions mentioned earlier, and pick any item, and decide to take action on it today.
TAKE ACTION DIAGRAM We are fearful of those things that are outside our comfort zone. The unknown has always brought discomfort to even the greatest of us. This model objectively demonstrates how when we take actions/risks towards facing our fears, we eventually make progress towards overcoming those fears. [3]
Imagine yourself standing within the center of the model, which is your existing comfort zone. As you take incremental risks, you move outward on this model, to higher level risks, acquiring new levels of confidence in the process. This level of confidence then allows for you to keep moving (outward) towards that main fear, until you’ve faced it. At this point, the discomfort of doing that fearful event again should be much less severe, as you have graduated into your newly attained comfort zone.
This model also demonstrates why even after we’ve accomplished a fear inducing goal, why we may continue to still have fears. It’s important to note, that in most cases, the fear we are experiencing won’t be the same fear as before. As we choose to stretch ourselves to accomplish bigger or more challenging goals, new fears will arise due to the uncertainty of accomplishing those goals.
4. LEVERAGE THIS SELF-CONFIDENCE FORMULA
The following Self-Confidence Formula was derived from Napoleon Hill’s classic book, ‘Think and Grow Rich’. [4]
We have found that it has the most optimal effect when it is read consistently, in its entirety, and aloud with deliberate energy every morning just after waking up.
By reading this mantra daily as a ritual, noticeable changes to your confidence levels may be experienced. As such, you will be positioning yourself to approach your fears with the heightened courage needed to conquer them. Here it is:
1. I know that I have the ability to achieve the object of my Definite Purpose in life. Therefore, I demand of myself persistent, continuous action towards its attainment, and I here and now promise to take such action.
2. I realize the dominating thoughts of my mind will eventually reproduce themselves in outward, physical action and gradually transform themselves into physical reality. Therefore, I will concentrate my thoughts for 30 minutes daily upon the task of thinking of the person I intend to become, thereby creating in my mind a clear mental picture of that person.
3. I know through the principle of autosuggestion that any desire I persistently hold in my mind will eventually seek expression through some practical means of attaining the object. Therefore, I will devote 10 minutes daily to demanding of myself the development of self-confidence.
4. I have clearly written down a description of my Definite Chief Aim in life. I will never stop trying until I have developed sufficient self-confidence for its attainment.
5. I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure unless built upon truth and justice. Therefore, I will engage in no transaction that does not benefit all whom it affects. I will succeed by attracting to myself the forces I wish to use, and the cooperation of other people.
I will induce others to serve me because of my willingness to serve others. I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness and cynicism by developing love for all humanity because I know that a negative attitude towards others can never bring me success. I will cause others to believe in me, because I will believe in them, and in myself. I will sign my name to this formula, commit it to memory and repeat it aloud once a day, with full faith that it will gradually influence my thoughts and actions so that I will become a self-reliant and successful person.
COMPANION RESOURCE: As part of this strategy, we’ve also included the following mantra, which was written by Walter D. Wintle.[5]
This mantra is a great reminder of the power that thought has on our life outcomes. We’ve included it because it is such a helpful reminder on the power belief and mindset can have on how we show up in life.
With constant review, it can strengthen your belief in your ability to will change, and to use your mind to defeat the challenges that lay before you.
MINDSET MANTRA
Related: Mantras For Success
5. BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF WITH AFFIRMATIONS
If you are not familiar with affirmations, they are essentially statements said to oneself, with conviction about a perceived truth. They are a way of programming one’s mind into believing what you are telling it.
Affirmations can be useful for strengthening our minds against a number of self-limiting beliefs. They are especially affective for helping people manage a lack of confidence. And they are great to use if you have a strong sense of fear towards doing something.
If you want to learn more about what affirmations are, and how to make them work for you, we highly recommend you read the Psychology Today article, by Ronald Alexander Ph.D. titled: ‘5 Steps to Make Affirmations Work for You’.
The following phrases are some of the most powerful Fear Conquering affirmations you can use. They are most impactful when read daily, out loud to yourself. It is especially effective if you look into a mirror, directly into your eyes, when reciting these affirmations. This is known as the mirror technique, of course it’s not 100% necessary, especially if you are driving, etc.
For the sixth one, just fill in the blank with whichever issue you are having doubts about. Or fill it in with any issue that fills you with anxiety due to self-perceived feelings of inadequacies.
For example; if you have doubts about your strength as a leader, recite the following: “I am a strong leader.”
Similarly, if you fear you are not good public speaker, you can recite the following: “I am a great public speaker.”
And, if you fear you are not a good conversationalist, recite the following: “I am a great conversationalist”. And so on and so forth.
You can also easily interchange the adjective of Great on this sixth affirmation with whichever you wish to be more of. For example, you can use good, powerful, successful, calm, peaceful, happy, etc. instead of Great.
I AM FEARLESS. WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, I CAN HANDLE IT. I EXUDE CONFIDENCE. I AM POWERFUL, POSITIVE, AND ENERGETIC. I LOVE MYSELF, AS WELL AS OTHERS. I AM A GREAT__________________.
If you’re looking for a really thorough list of affirmations to build confidence in yourself, and more about affirmations in general, use these resources:
With that said, this next section includes a helpful diagram that can help you track how affirmations are impacting your feelings of empowerment over time. The exercise is optional, but it can help you observe and track progress.
PAIN TO EMPOWERMENT CONTINUUM DIAGRAM:
This is a powerful diagram that the late Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. inspired via her book, ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’.[6]
With the knowledge that you can track how you feel about yourself, and how you perceive yourself in terms of handling your fears, you can gradually improve your situation. That which gets measured, can improve.
As such, this diagram is an excellent way to track your progress towards becoming more empowered via the affirmations you used, (or can be used to track your feelings of progress for the implementation of all mentioned strategies), towards building your confidence. How you measure yourself is purely subjective and relative to your situation, but then again, so is fear.
An important thing to keep in mind, is that the secret to handling our lack of confidence, is our ability to move ourselves from a place of pain (see left side of diagram), to a place of feeling empowered (see right side of diagram). When we are in a place of pain, we feel helpless, we feel depressed, have a feeling of paralysis (Can’t, Won’t, or Don’t want to do Anything), and are generally apathetic.
However, when we are empowered, we feel we are capable of making decisions. We have more energy, we take more action, and we conduct ourselves from a place of passion. Observe the diagram below.
When you’re feeling empowered, you’ll make better choices and have more energy. You’ll also take more action, and feel a stronger sense of passion and well being in your life.
PAIN TO EMPOWERMENT TRACKING Consider tracking the impact the affirmations are having on you at the end of each week. Practice your affirmations diligently, and then measure how you feel in each area to if they are working.
Take inventory of your progress towards becoming a bit more confident and a lot more fearless for the next 66 days, using the ‘pain to empower’ diagram. Simply add a check mark along the spectrum, pinpointing how you feel your empowerment levels rank on a scale from 1 – 8 at the end of every week (1 being the worst, and nearest to pain, and 8 being the best and nearest to feelings of empowerment).
Tracking like this can help to provide a sense of accomplishment. And that sense of accomplishment can help you push through the entire duration of the process.
Here is what that measurement and tracking process could look like:
Quantify Results to Make Measurable Progress: Wherever you place your check mark on each of the four spectrums, you can use the location (1 -8) of that check mark as the number to enter in the boxes below. By doing this, you put a number to your progress.
In fact, at the end of each week, you can tally up your score for each spectrum (divide it by 4) and then enter it into the TOTAL SCORE box at the bottom. By quantifying your improvement, you can make measurable progress over time. For instance, the hypothetical total score on the next page is the total of each spectrum score, divided by 4. i.e. 7+4+6+8 = 25 so then 25 ÷ 4 equals 6.25
If you’re total score grows throughout the following weeks, keep doing what you’ve been doing, as a growing score signifies that you’re moving in the right direction.
Related: Affirmations For Success
6. INCREASE YOUR CONFIDENCE WITH VISUALIZATION
Cheryl Lossie, Ph.D., is a former lecturer of public speaking for Clemson University, and retired public-speaking lecturer who specialized in teaching some of the most fearless people on the planet, the U.S Special Forces, how to overcome their hesitancy of speaking in front of people, and how to do it well.
When we interviewed Dr. Lossie about what she recommended to her students (the fearless Special Ops folks) for overcoming their fears of public speaking, she informed us that it was to simply practice visualization.
Her recommendation coincided well with much of our research and experiences for overcoming fears. In fact, it also aligned with some of Tony Robbins’ research on how to overcome fear as well. As such, a great mental exercise to help you build confidence in yourself, is to simply practice visualization.
As a best practice to visualize effectively, it is recommended, that you sit in a quiet place, with no distractions. You’ll want to close your eyes, and then take 2 to 5 minutes to imagine yourself executing flawlessly (in addition rebounding flawlessly, if things do go as planned) that thing which you are so afraid of doing.
For example:
If afraid of public speaking, see yourself giving a flawless presentation. Also, see yourself getting that standing ovation or that positive response you are seeking from your audience once you’ve finished wowing them.
If it’s conducting an important staff-meeting, see yourself taking charge and crushing that meeting. Imagine in detail exactly what you plan on saying, how you will say it, and think what you will say in response to other attendees at the meeting.
If it’s presenting a sales presentation to a client, see yourself giving a perfect sales presentation. Imagine also, every objection that might come your way, and see yourself handling those objections with grace and confidence.
If it’s approaching that beautiful girl at the coffee shop, imagine yourself striking up a conversation confidently, and holding a great engaging conversation with the person. Imagine everything that could go right.
You may be asking yourself, ‘Is building confidence really this easy?’ And the answer to that question is yes, it is that easy, so long as you put in the time to visualize your ideal outcomes.
With that said, let’s move on to our next confidence building strategy.
7. BUILD CONFIDENCE WITH ENCOURAGING QUOTES
Below you will find 20 power quotes that you can reference at your leisure. Once you have read all of them, consider coming back to the ones that really speak to you.
The quote that moves you the most is the quote that will be most helpful to read when you need to take action on anything that you are resistant to do.
1. “Fear, the worst of all enemies, can be effectively cured by forced repetition of acts of courage.” – Napoleon Hill
2. “Fearlessness isn’t a divine gift. Fearlessness is a daily practice.” – Robin Sharma
3. “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho
4. “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown
5. “There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” – Aristotle
6. “A human becomes fearless by accepting his/her fears. It is not a question of bravery. It is simply seeing into the facts of life and realizing that these fears are natural.” – Osho
7. “He who is not every day conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
8. “Safe is Risky” – Seth Godin
9. “Life is being on the wire, everything else is just waiting” – Karl Wallenda
10. “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly ” – Robert F. Kennedy
11. “Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.” – T.S. Eliot
12. “Greatness lives on the edge of destruction” – Will Smith
13. “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” – Anais Nin
14. “Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot: but make it hot by striking” – William B. Sprague
15. “It is never too late to be what you might have been” – George Elliot
16. “The most important thing to remember is this: To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become. ” – D.E.B Dubois
17. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
18. “The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything” – Dennis Waitely
19. “People who don’t take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.” – Peter Drucker
20. “It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all” – William James
If you’re looking for additional quotes to boost your confidence and help you life life fearlessly, these collections will do the trick:
8. BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF WITH THESE KEY QUESTIONS
The following four questions will bring new levels of clarity to every situation where a lack of confidence is involved. It is suggested that you honestly ask these questions of yourself.
Similarly, when faced with a future challenge or situation which induces anxiousness in you, ask yourselves these questions, and wait for your inside voice to answer the question for you.
After doing so, you should find that these questions have a calming effect on you, thus, gently banishing the fears that your mind has potentially built up around the task at hand. With that said, here are the questions:
Question 1: What is really on the other side of this thing I am fearing at the moment?
The answer is always… NOTHING.
Question 2: If I knew that I could handle anything that came my way, what would I possibly have to fear?
The answers is… NOTHING.
Question 3: If the worst possible outcome related to doing this thing that is making me so afraid, actually happened, would I be able to handle the outcome?
The answer is…YES.
Question 4: If I let this fear get the best of me, and allow it to keep me from doing that which am afraid to accomplish, will I, on my deathbed, regret that I had not made the decision to do that thing which I so feared?
The answer is… IT IS UP TO YOU .
Related: Books For Confidence
9. DIGEST THESE CONFIDENCE-BUILDING TED TALK VIDEOS
To help you increase your confidence while simultaneously minimizing fear and its shrewd ability to limit our lives, we’ve curated four classic Ted Talks you should watch. Our hope is that you’ll watch them and learn some new tactics that you can use to build your confidence and overcome your fears rapidly.
Here are the videos:
VIDEO 1: AMY CUDDY
This is an extremely inspirational video by Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy. She provides amazing insight into how research is starting to suggest that we are influenced by our own non-verbal communication to ourselves.
In short, she reveals how our non-verbal’s (like body language) can influence how we think and feel about ourselves. Put another way, she demonstrates how you can manipulate your body to build confidence in yourself.
All in all, it’s full of great information to help you build confidence so you can become fearless. Her last suggestion is what is most important. “Fake it till you Become it”.
VIDEO 2: TIM FERRISS
Author of ‘Tools of Titans’ and productivity guru Tim Ferrids gives a nice intellectual breakdown on how he learned to deconstruct his fears so he can eventually conquer them. If you watch the video till the end, he eventually ties all of his examples together to help you understand how you can overcome fear.
His last two messages are by far the most important. “Fear is your friend.” and “What is the worst that could happen?”
VIDEO 3: JOE KOWAN
An entertaining and uplifting video that details how singer-songwriter Joe Kowan eventually learned how to overcome his fear of being on stage. Joe does this by ritually singing a stage fright song that he created before every event he does.
It’s very powerful and it is a must watch for those who need to build confidence for getting on stage or in front of large groups of people. Click on the image above to learn how to fearless and confident through learning.
VIDEO 4: JIA JANG
Author of ‘Rejection Proof’, Jia Jiang, provides a very funny, informative, and helpful video for overcoming our fears. He starts slow, but his message really picks up steam half way through. By the end of the video, you will have laughed a dozen times and you will most certainly have gained some powerful insights for overcoming your fears and dealing with rejection.
Jia Jiang’s last statement really knocks it out of the park, when he admonishes that we embrace our fears, because it is in doing so, that we are bound to discover our biggest opportunities.
10. FIND YOUR LIGHT
Why are we so afraid to do what we truly want in this life? Why are we always letting other people’s opinions drive the decisions we make?
Too many of us tuck our dreams and true interests away in some small corner at the first sign of disapproval from others. We don’t follow our own heart, we don’t we follow our light. Why?
Robert Greene, said it so well in his book ‘Mastery’, as he pinpoints exactly what happens to so many people. In fact, it is what happens to all of us when we don’t follow our true inclinations. He states the following:
“Conforming to social norms, you will listen more to others than to your own voice. You may choose a career path based on what peers and parents tell you, or on what seems lucrative. If you lose contact with your inner calling, you can have some success in life, but eventually your lack of true desire catches up with you. Your work becomes mechanical. You come to live for leisure and immediate pleasures.” [7]
So, if you are afraid to do what you truly want in this life, don’t be. You only have one life to live, and none of us are getting out of here alive anyway.
If you are always letting other people’s opinions drive the decisions you make, or cause you to doubt yourself, with respect all due respect, stop! Your opinions and interests matter, what interests you is important .
No more tucking your dreams and true interests away, no more hiding your talents because others may disapprove of them. If you want to live a confident and fearless life, you have to follow your dreams.
This is the last act, because it requires the most self-examination and courage to act on your insights; however, it also harnesses the most potential to help you become confident, act boldly, and live fearlessly.
Thus, to help you follow you fire, your light, your dreams, you first need to know exactly what it is that YOU want . Thus, this strategy is an exercise to help you discover what your calling is, so you can follow it.
Once you’ve completed the self-discovery process, focus on bringing it to life by making plans to live it.
FIND YOUR CALLING EXERCISE
Below is a tool to help you find your light, your fire, or whatever you want to call it.
Ultimately, it is a questionnaire that will help you bring more clarity to your life. Improved clarity leads to confidence, and confidence leads to action, and action eventually turns into results.
Give it a look here: Find Your Light Guide
IMPLEMENTATION
By answering all of the questions in the guide provided, and giving each one your sincere and thorough consideration, you’ll discover a deeper awareness of who you are, what makes you happy, and what you should be doing with your life. All of these things will help you build confidence in yourself.
When every decision you make, every action you take is aligned with the fulfillment of the life objective you discover from this exercise, you will, without a doubt, have the confidence to truly live fearlessly.
BUILDING THE CONFIDENCE TO LIVE LIFE FEARLESSLY
A final word of caution. There is nothing more crushing in your pursuit of becoming your absolute best or in deciding to become who you truly want to be, then by having someone within your inner circle question your intentions and doubt your possibilities.
“THERE IS NOTHING ENLIGHTENED ABOUT SHRINKING SO THAT OTHER PEOPLE WILL NOT FEEL INSECURE AROUND YOU. WE ARE ALL MEANT TO SHINE.”
– MARIANNE WILLIAMSON –
As you’ve probably experienced, fear and doubt can spread swiftly like a virus. As such, you must take proper precautions to make yourself immune to its infection.
A good starting point, in making yourself immune, is to understand that doubters are simply afraid. They are afraid of not living up to their potential, afraid that you may outshine them. These individuals, will claw and scrape, and try to hurt you, to keep you fearful of life, fearful of your very best .
Often times, they don’t do this consciously. It’s their subconscious insecurities that compel them to lash out. And they lash out at you because they have yet to find the courage to face their fears and pursue their potential as you do.
If possible, remove these doubters from your life. Remove, as best as you can, anyone who doubts your potential. Remove anyone who doubts your skills, your abilities, your choices, your greatness.
If you can’t completely remove these people from your life, then distance yourself from them. Spend as little time around them as possible, so as to minimize their negative influences on you.
If distancing yourself from them is not an option, then you must create a mental firewall to negate their negativity, to negate their doubts. A simple way to do this, is to convince yourself that their judgement no longer holds the weight that it once had.
Begin at once, to see yourself as a lion, and ‘them’ as the sheep (because that’s what they are). Reinforce your mental firewall with the following thought….
“A LION DOESN’T CONCERN HIMSELF WITH THE OPINIONS OF THE SHEEP.”
– ANONYMOUS –
A final word of encouragement. Congratulations, you now know how to be fearless and confident. You are truly equipped with the tools to become as confident as you want to be. The choice to embrace your new found confidence and live life fearlessly is now solely up to you.
We encourage you to decide to be confident today, to make the decision to believe that you can handle whatever this world throws at you. If you make this simple decision, and practice our recommended strategies, you will in effect be choosing to be fearless, and as a result, you will be.
If the fears and doubts begin to creep back in, remember that you can rely on the power of belief and the power of pursuit, to drive your fears away.
As you move forward to build confidence in yourself, towards taking on new and greater challenges, we are sure everything in life will begin to change for you.
Believe that you can do whatever it is that you wish to do. Have faith in yourself, have faith in your vision, believe that you deserve the best, because my friend, you do.
STRIVE To Go Fearless!
REFERENCES
[1] Susan Jeffers Ph.D., Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007), 22.
[2] David J. Schwartz Ph.D., The Magic of Thinking Big (New York: Prentice Hall, 1965), 52.
[3] Susan Jeffers, Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007), 36.
[4] Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich (Connecticut: THE RALSTON SOCIETY, 1938), 57,58.
[5] Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich (Connecticut: THE RALSTON SOCIETY, 1938), 59, 60.
[6] Susan Jeffers Ph.D., Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007), 26.
[7] Robert Greene, Mastery (New York: Penguin Group, 2012), 13,14.
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